The Pacific Parish Newsletter – By Reverend Smiley Isley
Welcome to the first newsletter for our Parish. I hope you find it useful and informative in terms of events in our village.
This month I would like to welcome Miss Julia. She has moved into the very big Lodge on the hill. It will be nice to have a woman’s touch around the place. All the other big houses in the parish are a bit stuffy. Much like the old gentlemen’s clubs of yesteryear.
It was very sad to see Mr Kevin leave. Still he was very quiet and so we did wonder what he was up to – working like that till late every night. Bless him, no wonder he needed all those solar panels on his roof, burning the midnight oil like that must be expensive!
Well other than the new arrival, life in the Parish has also been progressing. Melanesian Street remains a hot bed of activity. The PNG house seems to be gearing up for a very big party. Apparently they have won the lottery or something and are inviting the whole Parish to come around! Lots of fancy cars driving in and out, although I am not sure why most of the family are still camped out in the garden all day. I think they must have lost their door key as they seem to be standing at the window looking without knowing exactly how to get in. Still it’s a very big garden and everybody is welcome (well except for those West Papuans who I heard crept in without telling anyone).
Things generally in the street are quiet, especially at the house at the end. That used to be a right noisy place, but apparently Uncle Frank doesn’t like noise – especially foreign noise. Now he has taken control and things are very quiet, it is hard to know what is going on. Still Frank has invited all of the Parish to come and visit and apparently he is arranging everything with military precision!
Yes, it is nice to see such welcome. And I am sure eventually Ms. Julia will eventually invite us around to stay at her place. We were sure that nice Mr. Kevin was about to ask us. Mind you the previous occupant, Little Lord Johnny was a bit scary. He thought the house was still the old Manor and that we were his peasants! No wonder nobody wanted to go there.
And speaking of travelling, the folk in Polynesian cul-de-sac are doing a great job of manning the Country Club. Many in the Parish thought this relic from the past was long dead, but apparently it has survived thanks to funds from the former Lord of the Manor.
However, there are rumours that the Country Club is actually inhabited by the ghost of a dead parrot. This parrot used to live in the Manor and so all that can be heard in the now almost empty corridors are echo’s of things that used to be said in the Manor.
Some of the residents have got so scared I hear they have set up their own club in Melanesia Street!
But its ok, the occupants of the Polynesian cul-de-sac, as some of the few people allowed into the Manor and the Lodge, assure us that the parrot is actual voicing independent opinion for the good of the whole Parish. Ah bless them.
It was also good to see the folk from the Micronesian alley. They live so far away sometimes we wonder whether they are even part of the Parish, but we love them and welcome them always. They seemed a little worried though, apparently people having been using their gardens to throw missiles at each other. I think it is those guys from the enormous white house on the end of the big lake. Gosh, it must be scary and I am sure this is something we will raise at the next parish meeting.
I wonder if this has anything to do with the increase in visitors to our lovely parish. I was just saying yesterday to Mr Vladimir and Xi Liu how nice it was to see people from so far away come and visit. It had been such a long time since anybody had come. And it was nice to see them echo the words of other visitors from afar like Mr. Ali Bin Sahid that they has all suddenly discovered what wonderful gardens we had and simply wanted to share their joy with us.
Well, I agree, we do have a lovely parish and so I end this first newsletter on that joyous note – god bless this parish and those who now come and visit.
